Blog

Jul
01
One Is Not The Loneliest Number

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Driving home from errands the other day, 3 Dog Night came on the radio. They were singing, One is the Loneliest Number. As the song reached its climax and I was singing away, I stopped. Honestly, to me, One is NOT the Loneliest Number. I have been on my own for a very long time, no family support, both parents deceased and my only sister, the lawyer, ran off with all the money for my kids' college. X husband, ran off with an extremely controlling second wife who whisked him away to Florida and he disappeared out of both my kids' lives leaving them shattered. Friends and lovers have come and gone. I don't look at it anymore as a disappointment. I look at it as lessons learned and more importantly, I am continually changing and evolving. Time to Move On. Whenever something disappointing happened, my mother use to say, "Next!" Even at 55, I am changing. I still welcome the change whether it happens unexpectedly, like my most recent apartment move, or I plan it, like my retirement next June. Here are a few things I have learned about One Not Being the Loneliest Number.

For starters, being completely abandoned several times in Life, I have learned to rely on Myself & My Intuition, which is why I write this blog. Part of my lesson was learning to go out into the World and like Nike says, Just Do It. I find most of my gender to be clingy. I go to the gym and I see the girlfriends working out together. I know they would never go to the gym without someone to go with. I disagree. Here's Why. Life is Short. If I stayed home every time I wanted to see that movie, or travel to that place or try that restaurant, I'd never go. You spend so much time planning and then trying to find someone to go with. If they cancel, what happens, most people don't go. This is the point in time where you have to say, like Nike, Just Do It. Everything happens for a reason. This is the point in time where you should think of what I call, the Death Bed Scenario. It's a little dark, but honestly, when I'm dieing, I want to look back and say, yes, I did this, I went there and I saw that. That's what I call the Death Bed Scenario. I want to look back and be satisfied with all my accomplishments whether I did them alone or with someone. No Regrets.

I enjoy my Solo Time. I go out to eat, I have travelled on vacation alone, taken workshops, gone to movies, broadway shows and concerts. I am not staying home because I can't find someone to go with. So many times I have bought two tickets for something and then struggle to find someone or they cancel. Now, I buy one. If a friend wants to go, then we plan together before I buy. At school, my colleagues are in awe of me. They say, they would never vacation alone. I always encourage them to try it. Going out to eat alone, I always bring my notebook. I sit at the bar and write or plan or make lists. I've even paid bills and balanced my checkbook. I like places that have a newspaper too. Bartenders who may find you odd at first because you're alone, actually will give you the best advice if traveling. I learn where the best beaches are, happy hours, places to visit and best times to go. Sometimes they hook me up with locals who are happy to have a new friend to show around. Movies are an easy place to start if you are new at traveling solo. I prefer first showing or afternoon where I can get a discount and the theatre is quiet. Once the lights dim, you'll be fine and you get to sit wherever you want! When I first traveled alone I started with a long weekend, but now it's been extended to a week or two. I plan everything out ahead of time or over my first dinner. I read every free magazine, cut coupons and find discounts. I write, pray, meditate, read Tarot, drink and take tours although I prefer to venture out on my own. I also like talking to the locals. I have always felt safe wherever I travel. I have met the most interesting people along the way especially in airports or in transit. They point me in the right direction, like me on FaceBook, exchange emails, but it is always a Great Adventure. The greatest adventure I have done on my own was visiting Sedona and the Grand Canyon. The day I went to the Grand Canyon, it snowed. I will never forget that moment when I first saw the Grand Canyon. I also got to cross that off My Bucket List. I wish more people, women in particular, would try venturing out on their own. Life is Short, Just Do It.